A Believable Apology

While apologies have become a dime a dozen, and most are either insincere, or filled with qualifications and excuses, this one has some substance to it. Here’s the background:

Last week, the National Football League’s commissioner suspended Baltimore Ravens star running back Ray Rice for the first two games of the coming season.

The penalty was met with overwhelming outrage. Rice had beaten his then-fiancé (they have since gotten married). Players have suffered much tougher penalties (at least four game suspensions; sometimes a full season) for what are perceived as lesser offenses.

Of course, this topic became national fodder for talk programs of all kinds. One of those programs is ESPN’s First Take. On Friday, July 25^th, Stephen A. Smith, a popular member of the show, made some (later) admittedly stupid and offensive comments. He left the impression that women should stop "provoking" these attacks they suffer.

You can imagine the explosion of reaction all over the media, both traditional and social, during the weekend. He was vilified, and for good reason, based on how he said what he said.

The very next Monday, July 28^th, First Take opened cold with Smith on camera, offering an apology.

Now, so many people have apologized for so many things lately (certainly since we entered the new era of instant, global communications), my opinion is their apologies have little value.

However, Smith, first by responding relatively quickly, and taking full responsibility, has done a commendable job. Indeed, he’s one of the few who did not apologize only to those who may have been offended. He assumed everyone not only was, but had a right to be offended. His apology sounds and looks sincere. 

Do Apologies Really Work?

By Eric M. Seidel, CEO

The Media Trainers®, LLC

The answer to the headline above: No! Not anymore, if they ever had. Apologies are about as meaningless as “They took me out of context.”

Case in point: three sports talk hosts on a morning drive radio show in Atlanta do two minutes of a tasteless skit at the expense of a former NFL player suffering from ALS (a/k/a Lou Gehrig’s Disease), that horrible, incurable illness that slowly strips its victims of the ability to move, swallow and, ultimately, breathe.

All three were summarily fired. In just two mindless minutes, they might have dealt a death blow to their careers. And now they're all saying they're sorry. Sorry for what? The sick “bit” mocking former New Orleans Saint Steve Gleason, or for their self-inflicted reputation damage?

And instead of just drifting into the shadows, giving this stupid antic time to drop out of the news, two of them compounded the “crime.”

One, Steve “Steak” Shapiro, gave the story extended life by appearing on CNN for a nearly 10 minute segment that included an excerpt of the on-air bit. An edited portion of the interview is below, minus a replay of what they did on their radio show. Shapiro, usually self-assured, was visibly shaking, sweating, shrinking into himself.

Another, Nick Cellini, apparently attempting to deflect this major embarrassment, was quoted saying their firing was “a relief, really. That station is a sinking ship.” Nice, Nick. Dump on the station. Does this mean the skit was pre-meditated? That you wanted to get fired to put you out of your apparent misery at work? Have you thought about a change in careers?

The given in today’s environment is that all this has gone viral and will live on and on. The Internet assures that these guys will never be able to outlive their thoughtless antic.

Of course, when you flub (perhaps too light a description) like this, so publicly on the air, you’re doing the shooting at your own foot. But, thanks to technology, you’re always on the record. It’s a fact, albeit a sad one.

So, if you find yourself having to say you're sorry, what you’re sorry for more than likely will make the deeper, longer-lasting impression than any apology.